short end

ao i cant figuare y i get the sort end of the stick..mom says that i need to move on but hey he has been there when i really needed him..we care for each other but the factor of the distance and that i have mr. shockin and he got ms.25..yea idk where this will end up..i need to make a trip to my soon to be home chicago...ive figuared it out...the school i wanna do my grad programs at yea programs..anywho...im so ready for that point in my life where its just me..just me..i got it but that the way i want it..so imma jus take wat i got now and deal with it..focus on the remaining 9 to 7 weeks of school left..find a job a car.and a place to lay my head and money for summer school..back on the short end..its been a week since ive seen mr. husband..wow i hate when ppl promise things and dont fullfill..thats one of my rules everyone should know dnt promise me that it will happen and its a week or year later and still hasnt happened..so imma jus suck it up got to church tuesday then celebrate mr.shocking's 21st day of birth...yea that will be extremely fun...Yay for mr. shocking and his o so sweet text messages in the morning...i learn something new everyday about myself and the ppl around me. chi bestie was here and still is..we had a great time last nite a senses yea senses...it was the same ole shit..same ppl i no longer kick it with but some ppl i missed extremely like my bro i missed de, kev, n dan..anywho im now rambling on cause i dnt wanna pack for this trip back to big blue country...until again


still wrapped in the enigma

WOW on 3.11.09...thisis your Warning!!

so today was semi great..spent some time with mom..just went to see sick cousin who is gettin better. YAY for prayer...then got some of my fav. Gus's Fried Chicken...Point for mom!!! YAY...so then we go pick up my brother from his gal house and why is there this malibu in front of us with get this "Mr. Triflin" on the back window..Wow that made my f'in day.....like yall have now clue...Mr. Triflin made me happier about my day...i just cant seem to understand why he would want that on his car...do women really approach him n shit..if so they betta watch out..they have been forwarned.....i Repeat You have been """"FORWARNED"""""....pic comin soon...

so this is was my moms car until my bro got in a wreck......God works out everything....its been a month and he is still in shock...........

im all wrapped up................

if we pray and worry what's the point of praying........

hurt

so im extremely hurting right now. in my heart.. no its not about any of the Mr.'s. Im sadden at the fact that it will already be a year for my aunt and my bestfriend.sucks ass...ya think...i was talkin with someone a few days agao about someone very close to them that she had lost...the way she deals with it is not visiting anything that has to do with him...wow how hard that will be. my phone has had this same pic on it since i found out and the same title n everything...i knew how to deal with my father pssing oddly but now this..idk how imma get thur this..i feel like a piece of me is really missing everyday i wake up..yea i just said that out loud..im really confused at how to deal with him no longer being here...i need my bestfriend fix right now..i need to laugh and go chill in the park..i need that kiss on the cheek that he knows i love...i need that bestfriend talk were he finish's my sentences...no one can finish them the way he does...he could explain me so much better then my own mother...when will the pain stop...i need a date time place..when i really need this...

faithspain

so get this right... I recieve a text from Mr. husband..yea what a fin surprise to me as well...so i think we are gonna be on our way off dwntw to our spot well no..he planned to jus roll thur..which pisses me off, then his bestfriend is standing right there listening to everything i have to say which i dont mind...imma just tell it like it is to him..im dn bullshit around and stepping around everyones feelings but my own.. he tells me that he cares for me dearly and didnt know how to tell me but now he wants to let it all out on the table..wow..now you do this right now...By the way Mr. Shockin is still on my mind....why couldnt you have told me this so many months ago..now i have all of this on my heart and its not gonna just go away.. but then we had a date tonite at 10 right well thats just not happening as it is 10:08 now...he had to CANCEL..why do i always get the short end of the stick..you said you want me to be with you in the end...but this is NOT going to ruin my Spring Break...Mr. Shocking said he might just be comin home for a few days so i might jus get to see him sooner then i thought...all Cheers for Mr. Shocking!!! soo once again Mr. Husband will be pushed aside as he has pushed me the opposite direction of himself.
well thats it for tonight......

FaithsLove

AM I ???

am i ready for a relationship. can i see myself with one person as of right now. i really want God to answer this question it jus seems i cnt fig out if he is say this is the right time for me...or do i need to do some more soul searching...not sayin im bout to jump right into a relationship tomorrow...hell naw...neva been able to do that...i have to spend time and learn the person first...friends 1st...that is a top one....what i want out of it...a guy who is goin to love God more then himself or I.have respect for me and himself..know when i need encourageing words...which is daily..not when im sad or dwn...when im happy..is the best..listens to what i have to say...and mcuh more i cnt name it all....waiting paitently..........

Faiths Love

its a NEW DAY!!!

so its thursday and im finally home...yea already nothin to do jus yet...so i was texting Mr. SHOCKING the whole way home. amazing yes...im not gonna say this is different, wen i speak that it always ends up the same...so its shockin to me.. so its been on my mind what now that im home will Mr. Husband(soon to be Mr. EX Husband) step up to the plate and do what he says he wants to do...Moms is sayin Hell No....so imma jus let the ball roll...personally...im not gonna kill to get him to understand me..uve know me this long its time to grow up and realize what you have in front of you...Surprisingly Mr. Shocking is saying all these great things bout me which most are tru i might say myself jus the fact he can see certain things and have such a heart...im not tryna sit n wait for him to do wrong which i hope he wont do...Mr. SHOCKing is a really great guy and has potential...Mr. Basketball on the other hand has got to figuare out that its not the same i gave you your 2nd i dnt give thirds...so much mess up already i cnt take anymore...friends maybe but idk if that will work..Mr. Music things are done...you aint right in the head you jus aint...i cnt do it anymore...so Mr. Shocking is constanly in my mind weird hell yea...good guys like this dnt come around to often..he might jus be a keeper.