Brought Back to Reality

So things with my personal life haven't been the way I wanted them to go. I let my heart get the best of me and believe everything he was telling me. What he doesn't know just yet it that Imo not going for this anymore. I've taken this time to myself and really thought about what I want and how im going to get it. Im going to move to Chicago. Im going to grad school at Columbia of Chicago. The only thing is I want to leave now. I don't want to wait anymore. I feel like if God told me through any type of communication that it was time to move now. I would take all steps to do so. I took the time to once again believe the bullshyt that came from a nigga mouth. did i not learn from my past. Why can't guys just be honest about how they feel. And if you talking it up with your ex, thats def agaisnt all rules. Don't go around tell yo guys that im your girl, and in reality im just the closest thing near you and in the same city. yep I said.

so from that being said im def speaking my mind next time...i make the time to see you...u not the other way...

i pray this is not it...

i once told myself that i would never fall back into my past trials or should i say ppl... i cnt seem to understand why you still hold on to those pictures wen there will never be a new one like that ever. i honestly thought you got over what we had cause i got over it a long time ago. no i dnt see you like the way i once did. its cray when i tell you im in love with someone else you keep saying that i will have that same love for you one day, NO I WON'T! Hear my loud and clear. oh yea Im In Love with another man!! he gives me comfort in knowing that God is real and that no i cnt always have it my way. i love him for that. i love he can tell me yes to one thing and then be honest and say no about something else. i love the way he treats me around his friends. its like im the only one in the room. when i need him he is always there. when he tells me things God has done for him, and what he wants to do to Glorify God. What more can i ask for. i know that right now i have a Godly man in my life. he is gonna give it to me in the truthful way, which is pure honesty. he isnt going to lie about anything. i ask i betta be prepared to hear the truth. some go in life thinking that the right now is some how the best they can have it. no it can only get brighter everyday of your lives. i want the sun to shine on me and mine brighter and brighter everyday, EVERYDAY. not jus on my rainy days on my on my sunny days as well. i want him to continue seek God to get closer to me. nor have i ever asked him to seek him for me, and never will i. i know that he seeks God more because i see more of God in him and him wanting to know and have a better relationship with God and his family. i believe that this year, 2010. is going to bring many challenges but blessings and understanding that it wont always go my way. It goes the way of the Lord and only his way. Only Positive Speaking, in my life.

Faith
still wrapped but slowly my God unrolls the enigma