so get this right... I recieve a text from Mr. husband..yea what a fin surprise to me as well...so i think we are gonna be on our way off dwntw to our spot well no..he planned to jus roll thur..which pisses me off, then his bestfriend is standing right there listening to everything i have to say which i dont mind...imma just tell it like it is to him..im dn bullshit around and stepping around everyones feelings but my own.. he tells me that he cares for me dearly and didnt know how to tell me but now he wants to let it all out on the table..wow..now you do this right now...By the way Mr. Shockin is still on my mind....why couldnt you have told me this so many months ago..now i have all of this on my heart and its not gonna just go away.. but then we had a date tonite at 10 right well thats just not happening as it is 10:08 now...he had to CANCEL..why do i always get the short end of the stick..you said you want me to be with you in the end...but this is NOT going to ruin my Spring Break...Mr. Shocking said he might just be comin home for a few days so i might jus get to see him sooner then i thought...all Cheers for Mr. Shocking!!! soo once again Mr. Husband will be pushed aside as he has pushed me the opposite direction of himself.
well thats it for tonight......

FaithsLove

AM I ???

am i ready for a relationship. can i see myself with one person as of right now. i really want God to answer this question it jus seems i cnt fig out if he is say this is the right time for me...or do i need to do some more soul searching...not sayin im bout to jump right into a relationship tomorrow...hell naw...neva been able to do that...i have to spend time and learn the person first...friends 1st...that is a top one....what i want out of it...a guy who is goin to love God more then himself or I.have respect for me and himself..know when i need encourageing words...which is daily..not when im sad or dwn...when im happy..is the best..listens to what i have to say...and mcuh more i cnt name it all....waiting paitently..........

Faiths Love

its a NEW DAY!!!

so its thursday and im finally home...yea already nothin to do jus yet...so i was texting Mr. SHOCKING the whole way home. amazing yes...im not gonna say this is different, wen i speak that it always ends up the same...so its shockin to me.. so its been on my mind what now that im home will Mr. Husband(soon to be Mr. EX Husband) step up to the plate and do what he says he wants to do...Moms is sayin Hell No....so imma jus let the ball roll...personally...im not gonna kill to get him to understand me..uve know me this long its time to grow up and realize what you have in front of you...Surprisingly Mr. Shocking is saying all these great things bout me which most are tru i might say myself jus the fact he can see certain things and have such a heart...im not tryna sit n wait for him to do wrong which i hope he wont do...Mr. SHOCKing is a really great guy and has potential...Mr. Basketball on the other hand has got to figuare out that its not the same i gave you your 2nd i dnt give thirds...so much mess up already i cnt take anymore...friends maybe but idk if that will work..Mr. Music things are done...you aint right in the head you jus aint...i cnt do it anymore...so Mr. Shocking is constanly in my mind weird hell yea...good guys like this dnt come around to often..he might jus be a keeper.

90...20 naw that a 5

wow chi jus used the 80 20 thing...Wow so i kinda feel like she was right but there is sumthing puzzling me...the fact yo dum hoe done called me from yo damn fone..nigga how dum is that shit...then you both proceed to come in my direction and she ask outloud(ARE PPL SCARED OF MY FONE) BITCH HELL NO!!! WHY THE FUK AM I SUPPOSE TO BE SCARED...i really cant stand dum bitch's..like this is not high school this is college.im gettin a fuckin career after this.you think im goin to let you block ova a nigga who had the "G"..hope he told you but you might already have the meds for that so yall actually make the perfect couple..so is this harsh of me...naw its really not. i rather have said some of this shit to your face but its really a waste of breath that i refuse to use in my day or of lifetime.im so much bigger this this shit. i deserve way much better then this type of BULLSHIT..so bitch Im the f'in 90 and you will always be the f'in 5 nt the 20 not even close..also bitch im need you to learn respect.repsect cause when that bitch ass hoe from back home got disrepectful she got the f'n business n that No F'in Pun(thanks xoxo)learn yo place or imma snap n show you yo place like no otha.n dnt bring yo girls into that shit cause they aint got shit to do with it bitch its a one on one thing baby gal..n i dnt like actin out its jus not lady like. oh n if you really think that those three orgs. want you you gotta anotha thing comin...they gone see right through yo shit so fast you not gone kno what fn hit that face of yours. faithslove is ending..goodnite

new car and new house!!!!!!!!

so God put this person in my mother's life and mine and now i have been givin the biggest blessin of all times. im gettin a new car and a house YES a HOUSE im so thrilled. my own place. Ive wanted one ever since i had my aprtment at crichton. this is bomb for real....cant wait!!! sooo GEEKED

ever.....

ever had sumthin infront of your face and nt goin for it. well he was infront of my face and now i want him back in that spot only thing is the distance and im not comfortable with that. its eating away at me everytime i try ti talk nothin comes out right. i think im scared and thats crazy cuz most times ill go for it and nt think twice. im scared of lonely but im scared that it wont be him in the end. he knows so much. i want us to work but us workin cnt us being at the same damn school. we both need our own lives and him hear n me n nash jus seems to damn scarey. i need him to holed me when i feel dwn. he cnt do that 3hrs away. this sucks big time. i really think he has opened my eyes. but i need to let him kno that. bt how???

time to reflect on 2008 and bring in 2009

reflect in 2008
i went thur two of the biggest loss of my life.
my auntie Josephine and My Bestie of all time Mr. Santez Dibirel
i miss them dearly and wish they could have made it this far as did i.
i met one of the coolest chic's at chase to the wolf macys ever!!
My Chi bestie SunSh!ne! she be the bomb!!
ive made a change in schools dnt kno if that was a great choice just yet.
uuummm i kno what color runs in my veins watch out fall 2k9!!!
ive grown in my FAITH yep!!! God is Amazing in so many ways!!
he has truly shown me the true meaning of friendship and love
i know who my tru friends are and who are just in my life for a season better yet a semester.
Ive learn that i need to listen before i speak sumthin ive never been good at but continue to be judge on...ne who
learn that life is no longer a effin joke and that my dreams are right infront of my effin face WOW!!
Oh OH OH OH
i CUT my effin hair and love it. Its the tru me ive been missin
Sumthin my dear auntie jo taught me was to be tru to me and to who God made me to be.
I learn what will get me off track and who will get me off track yea.
i learn that fo sho
i learn that love will come to me when the time is right and i will never figuare out the time when ever that day will come
ive grown passion for this life ive been given even more
ive learn to concur the day and not to worry about the little things


bringing in 2009

life is going to be grerat as long as Ive got Jesus. J-E-S-U-S!! Yes!!
i will focus on the future in my life and not the past.
i will not let the past try to walk back into my life like nothing even happen
I will wait for Gods work to be done and not try to take over.
call my grandfather more(dads dad) he truly loves me no matter what
will stop and smell this green earth God has blessed us with.
get on my grind even better.
get that all black altima i saw for less then 15000!! NOW!!!
got to bed before the sunrises
find a better job then the informationdesk
work out more alot more
LEARN EVERTHING I CAN ABOUT MY GUITAR!!! (name comning)
Give all i got to God and my family and To MYSELF EVEN MORE!!