im ready to go off....

im real sick of the screaming you like to do...and the lies you love to tell...so you want me to leave the house so u can handle yo shit and i got sit at another house which i could be prefectly fine right here...hell naw..im really bout to go off n aint nobdy gone like me...im sick of being the one who gets the short end of the stick and noone ask how i feel and if i wanna go...ive only been gone a year and you expect me to keep coming bk afta this...that will be "HELL NAW".....ive gottin that dam short stick for the past 8 years...its not gonna happen anymore...i refuse...

faith

faith is all i have.
no more hope.
no more love.

faith is all i have.
i have faith that things will work out.
i have faith that God will take care of it all.
i have faith that im learning from my mistakes and it takes time.
i have faith that i am heeling from all the hurt and pain he caused.
i have faith that i will get that house a the young age of 25.
i have faith that it will be paid for before i leave for grad school.
i have faith that im going to higher places in my life.
i have faith that he will one day love me like i heart him bexause love is so much deeper.
i have faith that i will not hurt anyone for saying that i faith for that love.
i have faith that someone will show me hope once again.
i have faith that love will find me once and be true love that the imitation love will never slip through.

i just pray i dont loose my faith..................



still wrapped up.....

all in one

so monday i went to Santez grave site..........wasnt easy at all. i truly believe that im not gonna be able to get over this for a while...just going places without him and church without him sitting right nex to me jus is weird..jus imagine your life without someone who you care for deeply and they are no longer there. sucks right...i know 1st hand..anywho me momma anita pops walker, his sis (by the way is a hsgrad nex week YYAAAYY) and lilbro plus grandma and my momma....i only wish he could be here...so much to tell him.


next topic...so i feel like ppl dnt understand me and relationships...well i dnt do well in them ever since yes, i got my heart broken....its just not the same..i met a nice guy then he turns into a load of bullshit....but the resent guy isnt just i think im on another page which i have tryed to let him know but doesnt understand...then there is the mr. ex huband....something is tellin me to wait wait and you will know what is right with that situation...well sorry but i dnt wait for anyone not even my mother....you either want it or dnt...we are way to grown to be playing these childish games of life....i have a plan and im gonna check every bit of it off my list....im gonna graduate and make something of Faith Foxx....im gonna go to grad school in chicago or new york..im gonna travel the wrold and met so many different ppl...ill be damned if i move back to memphis and live there till my time to go home.....i refuse on it absolutly.....so while you think im gonna wait im not im gonna be on my merry f'in way and get that money the way i know how....im sick im making something a priority and not an option like i have been so many times...i guess this trophy you refferred me to isnt worth much...well damn if thats how you feel....

oh ladies if you live with your man and your not married i beg of you to have that XXX bank account...you never kno when your gonna need that money..some say is wrong to have this but i am a frim believer that all women need it...man change as do women but there comes a time when you break up and then things start to fall apart...where are you gonna go..wil your family take you in like you think they would or arew you in another city si you need to get away from him is he PSYCHO crazy...well that money will be there when you need it...he doesnt know about it. the only two ppl that should is that best friend who was your friend 1st and wont tell him or that oh so concerned family member...cause i he gotta do is call YALLS bank and freeze the account or even take you off....have we as ladies not learned from the movie ENOUGH!!! but im on some real life shit right now....jus do it!!!


so i recently lost another close friend by the unthinkable MURDER...well i found out that it was a hate crime becuz he was gay....i thought i lived in a better country then that but i guess not....well this is a message to his killer:
i dont know you, you dont know me but you took a man off of this earth who was truly needed...not matter what kind of life he chose God never gave you the right to murder because God would never do such...so know tihs YOU WILL BURN IN HELL SLOWLY!!!

cell phones are overrated...



im still all wraped up believe it or not......

almost here.........

so its almost the bestfriends day of birth and its the 21st...sucks we cnt party. ill be bk...this is gonna be hard...LOVE U SANTEZ DIBRIEL WALKER!!!!

back at it.confused.yet hurt all in one

so im abck it i once again in my life. so the bestfriend that still lives got married and now is in the navy. a lifetime committment.yea so not cool with me but he is grown i cant make decisions for him. im sitting here looking at pictures over and over again..i cnt seem to get him back this time.there is not gonna be a call in a few weeks days or even months there is no coming back to this point where we once were at with each other. everyone new we were bestfriends..everyone new that it was ez n nik..no one every tried to break that up until she came along and i didnt make it clear enough to you or her that me n you been in it to win it for a long time and that she could be apart of it for your personal sake...im so not a blocker never have been never will be...but i got a red flag when she got an emailed me bout moms..his moms that is...you are kicked off the list when you say nasty words about the parents no matter what has happen even if they are wrong you never do that..its just wrong to call them out of their names..i hope and pray this move was your decision and not her's cause i can see your already living in hell...yea you been there since the record store night. i could tell in your eyes. this wasnt somthing you wanted to stick with but you did for the sake of love you thought you were in. i only can as about you now thur grandmother..she says your ok but who really even knows if you are..i love you so much you would understand it.so what im gonna do is continue to pray about it and not worry cause the only one who holds the key to our hearts is really God.. he is the only one that make it better or should i say make a rainy day into a SUNNY one with birds singing.

thinking......

so i been thinking all day how things arent goin my way...why is that...we only have 5 weeks of school. then i sadly have to go back to memphis for the summer...maybe this will be my time to stack money and get my car and return back to school on top of my shit....i just hate that im goin back to memphis...i hate it..i really wanna stay here in nashville but im wanting my own place...so it all depends on what happens in these next few weeks.....
so i might be goin to cali for a summer trip but i really wanna go to DC for the 4th of july...i could see my cousin and chill shop eat some good food and be at peace..

personal feelings

so yea today was a good day. i slept till i wanted which was late in my day. i watched a few movies on the TV and rested. then went to the alpha fish fry..nice nice...then chilled with my my and mica. went to my fav O'Charley's reminded me of this date i went on but thats no longer important right now. but any who ... Mr. Shockin upset me yesterday. i wasnt p-d-a-ing which he thought was me not wanting to be around him in publice or somthing really crazy.. well world if you didnt know now you do...i HATE PDA as for myself...im a very private person when it comes down to it. i like to keep my pda behind doors...its nobdy's business what i like to do with my MAN damn....no im not ashamed of you i just keep my personal life personal..thats why its my personal life not public....but there is no reason for him to be upset...but any who..i had afew thoughts of Mr. (EX)Husband durin the week...they were kind of good thoughts although i dislike this sitcome he wants to act out...but its now sunday and i need to get up for church so this is good nite.and...

im still all wraped up in it....