No Space for you in my front row...

so i read this note of a friends a few min ago. it started makin sense. there isnt anymore room on my front row.yea so and ex asked me the unthinkable, i said one thing but he knew what i truly said in my heart. the reason being is that i cnt find room in my heart for him. its crazy how you thought you love someone so freakin much but it ends badly then and there truly there is no goin back to fix it or try to fix it.one because most of the family knows what happens and secondly i jsut could never do that to my self. thats just not me. i let go so why cnt he let go and not get in a pissy mood about it. there just isnt enough room in my front row for him anylonger. no one took the seat it just doesnt existist anymore. i cnt bring it back either its just gone for good. like how do you understand something like that yourself...very odd

Turn off MUSIC FREAK

so girls n guys you know wen you have a turn OFF it completely turns you OFF of that person. so i have to rules no pics of any kind can be sent to my phone and the otha way around. another is liein, and bein scared and not being honest bout being scared.
but
Please dnt tell that i shouldnt be scared of a pic nigga trust me that shit didnt scare me it just piss me off.....lol....serious though i think i found the reason why things arent goin to work out. nigga you jus so turned me OFF. i dnt even wanna pick up the phone or answer a text message...yea NO WARNING!!..dnt ever in your life let me kno that you will change my mind... NIGGA NO....NIGGA NO...NIGGA NO...
Liein to me about what ppl said that shit aint cool dnt tell me one thing n a another really went dwn...oh nigga its on like donkey kong!!! NO REALLY NIGGA....I made one nigga cry dnt MAKE me add you to my list.
Tell the damn truth n if you scared nigga this shit def aint gon work
why be scared of showing your feelins aint bein a pu**y I promise fu*k them otha nigga if they think so...they opinion really dnt matter for us gettin together...fell me

Bitch!?!?!?

So this is how i feel....

im gonna be me no matter what.
if that nigga turn me dwn because of the way i look then fuck him he not meant to be in my life.
if they dnt hire me because i have an afro then fuck them i didnt want that job anyways
dnt tell me that you liked my hair n you were just lieing fuck that if you like it then you might as well get us to it now.
bitch never was i that preppy bullshit you said i once was. that aint my shit never will be my shit.
for your info im that G.R.I.T.S. with a 50 tshirts from the years n the love for jeans n sum sandals
bitch your never knew me ever. you only thought you did. kiss my big TOE!
its funny how ally 6 of you talk about sumbdy wen you think you kno but have no damn clue at all.
bitch my krae never did go to that interview with a relaxer in her hair...hahhahahah..
she got that as. bitch her bf jus wanted to see it then she washed that shit out the nite b4 her interview really GOT that ass
oh bitch dnt ever in your life call me bummy. bitch i got my days everybdy do
esp. YOU!!! Got that ass again.
bitch do me a favor n watch me do me n get where i wanna get the job with my skills bitch if they dnt want me because of my hair n not for my skills its not where i wanna be so NO you cant give me money for school to change my hair. btich thats just your trap of gettin my ass when i dun got you ass to many otha times.
oh n get this right i move with my own mind and the only person leading me is my GOD(yea bad to put in here but hey the lord dun heard my pain)
MY GOD yea is right next to me takin the same footsteps with me. even if they are wrong he shows me the right way to go.
So B I T C H
Get a life and learn that this is my and if you aint paying the bills then your words should be NO COMMENT!!!
Thanks have a Great Day B I T C H


Faiths Love

idk wat 2 say.........

so i love my family dearly and things havent been the best for us latly n it crushes my heart to see my family hurt..so i lost my papa @ a young age...first time i had to deal with death n my faith...yes supa crazy...so 2008 brought crazy things in my life...so my family jus had two family members cum bac into our lives bythemselves.AMAZING how GOD works...ne who....that was the best part then cam march mothers bday on easter how great!!! then the nex day sleepin my lil ass away...nite school was a bitch...and my phone keeps goin off wat in the hell does my mother want at 6 in the dmn mornin..she knoz i like my sleep. sad story short my great aunt of 7 children is the 1st to die..not cool at all GOD like it it so hard like i didnt kno wat to say all i did for days ways cry..natural reaction right...HELLZ NO...not for me...i got find things to do....ie the day my father died went to a friends house to feel normal like i was gonna go back to a normal life...but this wasnt me...so then i get outta the nutt shell n turn to my faith which helped a whole LOT...then school is over come home n its cool bout to start work again...MAKIN money is the greatest thing...well God thru another curve ball at me...best friend adopted brother guy who knows me the freakin best......dies.............how from drowin..WTF????...an artist who hand a big amazing life ahead of him....why him???..go back into my shell n cry like a newbron baby wit a rash on my ass...yea that serious...a guy who i knew knew God n never crossed anyone wrong everyone that came near him loved him just for the person he was...kind.caring.loving.respectful.smart.funny.understanding.loving.creative.thinker.lover.bestfriend...the guy who knew me more then i knew my self is gone n i cnt say sorry for nt callin like i should or for the time i was suppose to come visit wit momz... now ive been givin this test to see if i can handle it again...my cuz who is EA thats got meanin but its her name on here....EA fought thru so many battles in her life its unreal how she made it this far.she has MS...cnt s/p it look it up...it hit hard wen she was married to a jerk face the call a man.he took her kids away n lied n told them momma didnt want them..LIES...so no she is at them point her sis who is EA2 cnt even take care of her....sucks ass n im so damn scared cuz her daugther is look at me for guideness about it all..all i can say is pray cuz i dnt kno what imma do if she leaves us soon..n if you kno me well i dnt like goin to hospitals wen sum one is on the edge....it hurts really bad that i cnt do shyt bout it...so i still idk wat 2 say to them if it happen but im prayin it doesnt happen soon...i want her to be here so bad nex yr..she gotta be there to c legacy in the fam continue...she gotta...

faithslove

waitin....

so this damn jock ass done texted me afta not spendin time with me b4 i left....he sucks ass...but i really got happy but i shouldnt be cuz im feelin this otha person but i dnt kno if i should.he is my music freak yea....judge not....but its sumthin bout him i wanna see but its kinda takin to long even though it hasnt been that long..why in sam hell am i typin wit one hand...lame...judge not...ne who...i really wanna see wat is up but i think jock ass is wantin more n i dnt kno if im rdy for that n plus can he handle me....can either of them handle me..music freak texts every few days which is cool but i really dnt kno what is up wit this guy i mean most times i can see wat im thinkin but i cnt...does that even makin sense...who knows but yea music freak is pretty cool jus i cant f/o this thing bout him...he once told me sum f'd up shyt which he is never allowed to do again n i really cant forgive him yet....i hate issues n talkin they scare the shyt out of me..dnt kno why jus been that way all my life...so im kinda rdy for nex semester to get here so i can figuare sumthings out bout certain ppl..yellp thats wat im rdy for...

faithslove

sundays

so tomorrow is sunday n im so ready to go to church n neel dwn n pray.im so mad at my self for the simple fact i havent done that in a while which is soo not me..i miss my church family so much its not even funny..most of the time you will caught me at church on a friday saturday n sunday....not doin that in a while has really made me unhappy...but there is more to that later.i miss bein hugged for the simple fact they know me as the young women who will do anything to help anyone around me not matter if i know them at all. i think that has kinda hurt me this semester. helping those who will hurt me...which is so gay but ppl in this world are gay n they dnt always think about the aftermath of what they have done which i think i have become aprt of that group which sickins me to my heart.all i wanna do is fix the issue but it seems like i should jus leave it and let God work it out for me as he has done that plenty of times when i was being hurt.i prayed about the situation and thought about it till it made me anger at myself which isn't a good thing. i just hope everyone can see me in a different eye nex smester n that eye be the tru me who i know God made me to be. i wanted a new start but got sumthin i was runni away fromit seems.so i guess nex semester will be my tru new start..

~~have faith

Nat is the shit.........................

so last night i thought i was gonna be in the house waitin to meet moms bf...well that never happen. i thought my nite was gone to hell..then nat picks me up n we go to tha house watch the rockets bet the shit outta GS...even though GS was handin them sum serious shit but anywho..we then went to walmart which is our hang out. we talk like we never had before it was the best night ever n this was just 12n da morin....thats not even half of it...the we went to my fav place madison east my old home...so my fav meika.....then watched drunk asses roll outta senses...which was funny as hell...then we were bout to go to taco bell but we lost everybdy runnin from the mtwon po-po...they can kiss my ass...but ne who....i really enjoyed our first night of break together...but def not the last cant wait till friday....gus's chicken n south main...thats my shiiiiitttt...

~~have faith

why does this always happen to me......n......krama

so last year i went through the toughest time i ever could for a freshman in college. so now in my second year i felt different at the beginning. new school ...new people...new guy in my life. now things between us were pretty simple. no relationship to base anything on just pure friendship at the moment. i had nothing to worry about he once told me..so i reasurred myself that everything was going to be different. then i get this message that he is engaged..WOW..ENGAGED. now i went through something like this last year. but it was way deeper last year. as in they were enggaged and to be married in a few weeks. now its two weeks after my birthday.which we sumwhat spent together n now its akward even being around him. thankfully its the end of the semester but i took the effort to try to spend time before i leave to go home n he blows me off. WOW...i feel like that convo we had doesnt even matter anymore.the communication skills between us suck but i tried my damn hardest to get to were we could understand where this would end up but now im so in shock and confused if this is real or fake. how can you possiblly be engaged and we have been talking/friends for almost a year now. i just cant seem to understand this.
i feel as if this is krama bitting me in the ass for the character chagen ive had these past few months. see this situation went dwon n now i am in the middle of all the blame. so what if nobdy bleieves me now. i cant change anyones opinion about me now. that is far to late for some poeple.which i understand to the fullest.i will say it one more time that im truly sorry for the words that came out of my mouth and pray that God can forgive me as well. all i can truly do is go back to how i use to be. that girl who every knows to have a great personality but its gonna be sum hard damage control which i will put in Gods hands because it always doesnt belong in ours. but i cant seem to find out where me went. where did i go wrong in my lifetime...which isnt that ling of one. ppl say they have backed away but what i cant figuare out is why didnt you come to me jus as you told me about this other thing. why......neva will i know why but i know that i am truly sorry if i hurt anyone which i know i did but they will never truly understand how sorry i am. i wish i wasnt turning into someone i dnt even like myself that sucks as a human.so i told one of my closest friends about this change in me and that cant believe that i had done somthing to this level. all they told me was to go own with my life and God will fix things as he always will. whicih i pray for each night is for this change to come upon me....i just wish it would hurry.. but i know i can't rush Gods work.

Relationships........

In recent events, i have come to this on relationships.

I see that some can be fake and untrue. Others can be hurtful to one. Some can even be complete lies the other party is not telling. Why cant some admit to being in a committed relationship or not being in one. Why do we hide behind this fear the devil gives us and what is truly going on. In a relationship you could find you and your partner at the point of loving each other in so many ways. Some go into a relationship thinking everything is just peachy king but its not you have to work on it so it can be that way. Not just expect it to. It takes work for a relationship to work and to survive some bad situtations. Working together changes every bit of the relationship. letting the other know how they feel. It cant jus be 50- 50 anymore its got to be 100--100. We the fighters of the relationship gotta stop fight by our selves. the other has to fight also. One person fighting and thinking your gonna get some message say they need time. nO you have to be direct with each other. They've got to be able to explain what exactly they need time for. Not after a few days and they think its all better. No boyfriend or girlfriend should leave the other wondering if they have done something wrong. To me we each have a role and right of being a strong person to take on any relationship . We shouldnt lie. even though they say wat they dnt know wont hurt them. oh but it will. it can cause so much hurt for not telling them and letting them know what the true story is and not hear say. We have got to toughen up as humans and understand life isnt always easy. we have to learn from our lessons he gives us each day about relationship and about life period. Know that if your in a relationship you are strong but you've got to believe in yourself before the other believe's in you.


Stay Faithfull

Love...What is Love?

In the Bible Love is define as-wanting the good to come to another person;being concerned and willing to work for another person's benefit.a verse says

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.1 corinthians 13;4-6

the dictionary states: profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

Love has more then a million meanings but its your meaning that you feel that means the most to you. i was speaking with a friend about love and what we thought it was and how it was we come to love someone, mainly in a relationship. is crazy to me how someone can say that they have all the love for this person and when they turn around and make a mistake they so quick ly lose the love they once had for them just yesterday. how can you love them truly and then not love them so quickly the next day. is that even love or is it a figment of their imagination. to me you learn to love someone for who they are. not for the gifts they buy you or the things they do for you. when you love someone there is this deep love that no little wrong can break in no way possible. when you love you love that person for who they are and who they will become.if you cant love them for who they are then why are you wasting their time as well as yours. you love the imperfect person they are and learn to love that as it is their perfect(its your imperfect person). not to the point where the relationship is not good for neither one of you but you love them past the pain and through the struggle's you go through with each other.thats all apart of the learning process of learning to love that special person in our lives.just as the scripture says LOVE IS PATIENT AND KIND. In no way is love evil or pround nor is it rude. Love protects, trust, hopes, perserveres. It will never keep any records of any wrong. Thats what some do not fully understand just yet. It will ALWAYS REJOICE!!!!! Love will never fail. we've got to truly understand WHAT LOVE is before we tell someone that you love them when it comes to certain relationships. Not just marriage, bf n gf, but any relationship that is possible.Quote:Love is not to find a perfect person, but finding an imperfect person PERFECT.That's what true love is.


~Faith~